It's been a while, too long but I am committed to getting better, I promise! Okay so I was doing some updating to the blog and lost my first post. UGH!! This blogging thing isn't exactly my cup of tea. . . but regardless I'm moving on. I've got bigger things to worry about people...like a cute little boy that is growing and changing every day! Hormones are in full force these days. Every time my little man smiles at me, when he hears my voice and turns to me, when I go get him from his bed saying "Caden William" and he pops up his cute little head with those wide open eyes my heart melts...I tear up just thinking about it and writing this. Can my little man stay a baby for just a little while longer...I promise one day he can grow up but right now I just need him to not change for like a month (or 2 or 5!!). I need to soak in this stage just a little longer. I need him to give me hugs and those big slobbery kisses forever! I need him to see me and want me forever!!! I need time to freeze!
To be completely honest this whole motherhood thing has been a little harder for me then I thought. I always thought it would be easy and so much fun but the last few months made me wonder just what I got myself into. We had a little boy who slept awesome for the first 6 weeks of his life and then decided he would give up all naps or only have 30 min naps. Not so fun for a tired mom. Then on top of that he decided he won't like his car seat so I was left with a decision. Stay home all day with a cranky baby or get out and try to do stuff with a crying baby in public. Well, I tried both. I tried staying home to the point that I was going crazy and I tried getting out and every time someone would look at me and make any comment about a crying baby I'd just do a half smile and move on. But I could only handle so much crying, so many looks, so many "Oh, poor baby" comments! Then I let myself get to the point of I'm done with this. I need a schedule! We tried a schedule for weeks! Nothing was working UNTIL the little man decided for himself what his schedule would be and he was ready to be on it. They always say babies will do it on their own but for some reason I thought Caden would be different and he would adjust to my schedule...well it didn't work out that way for us! But now he's sleeping 11-12 hours at night, taking a morning and afternoon nap of at least 1.5 hours and then a 45 min nap in the evening. The rest of the time we usually have a happy playful boy! It makes my heart happy to be at this point but let me tell you it was some long stressful days getting here! Looking back I wish I didn't let myself get so stressed with it but I'll just make that note for the next little Irb and move on.
It's amazing to me how parenthood can change a person so much....I don't think I was ready for that. The good, the bad the ugly, it's all so worth it and I am forever changed! I love this little dude more then I ever thought I could love a person. I seriously can't get my mind off of him. I love watching him explore and learn new things. I love thanking God for the miracle of Caden William each and every day. I even love that Caden has taught me that my schedule isn't always how things have to be and that life will go on! God knew exactly what we needed in Caden and gave us that and so much more!
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