Yes, a little boy who CHANGES all the time. This (sorry its an Iphone pic but its all I had at the moment) is what I saw when I went to get my boy from a nap today. He is pulling up. I smiled, he smiled...I cried, he touched my face, so I cried more! I can't believe it! The past 5+ months have flown by and now, every week is some huge change. The last few weeks I've asked myself, "who am I"? I cry at every new thing and I seriously am wishing time would freeze! Well everyone said motherhood changes you and I am proof. I have to be honest and say it's been a little harder then I thought it would be at times. It's been a new set of challenges, a new mind set.I see older kids getting on and off the bus each day and I think I can never let Caden go to school. I see families coming and going from sports, activities, etc and I think I can't let him get involved...I want him all to myself! What happened to the good ole family days. The days where you had family time every weeknight and weekends were just icing on the cake!! Ugh, I know that this little boy will only learn new tricks and will go to school and will start activities and will one day go to high school, college, all those things people do. But the last few weeks I've found myself enjoying every second I get with him. Holding him close, making him laugh and recording it so I can always remember his adorable little laugh, taking more pictures then I have EVER taken in my life because I don't ever, EVER want to forget these moments! If you would have told me I would have been so in love with this little boy I would have doubted you, if you would have told me I would cry as much as I have, I would have laughed at you! But its the truth...Its a whole new world and if I could I would freeze time so I could enjoy the stages a little longer . . ."A little more" as some of us like to say.
So, I write all this to say. I'm a different person then I thought I would be, I have been "that mom" more then I ever thought or wanted to be BUT I am totally okay with that! I encourage you to be "that mom", whatever that means to you! Enjoy each moment, enjoy that little child of yours. Hold them close, put them in bed with you, make them laugh, look at the video monitor while they sleep for 30 min and just adore them. Just enjoy all the time you can get with them because we never get it back and no matter how hard we try or want to, we can't stop time!
That's exactly how I felt when J.J. & Hadley were babies (and probably how I'll feel w/ the one coming in April)! I would hear myself say, "I can't wait until they can...(fill in the blank)", but then I'd have to remind myself that once they reach those milestones (rolling over, crawling, walking), they don't go back! So I would stop myself!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the crying at EVERYTHING goes...that's totally normal. It's due to a) lack of sleep, b) hormones, c) having a completely different outlook on the world and life in general. You can ask Johnny...I NEVER cried at movies or anything sentimental before I had kids and now I'm a blubbering sap (or "Weepy Weeperson", as he so lovingly refers to me)! Seriously...I cry at the drop of a hat.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. :)