Celebrating Emptiness

It’s been a long couple of weeks.  Not necessarily bad weeks just full weeks with traveling and extra activities.  Plus, Jerrick’s been working some crazy hours, which is just a little hard on everyone.  Today we had a full fun day planned starting first thing in the morning until . . . the day started shortly after midnight when Caden woke up crying “I don’t feel good” and pretty much was up the rest of the night.  Kinley had a runny nose and cough the last few days but nothing I was too concerned about. After Caden had been up all night we knew we would be heading to the doctor first thing so we might as well take both of them… both had ear infections, poor babies.  So within just a few hours all our fun activities got canceled for the day and Jerrick had to go into work.  I wish I was secure enough to take a picture of myself (and my house, YIKES) right now, but let me just put my appearance into words, 2 days without a shower at all, 4 days since I washed my hair, 2 day old make-up, snot literally from both my shoulders down to my elbows, on the chest of my black shirt and dried on the side of my face! Gross but funny at the same time.
I got the kids to bed and just sat down to have a little time to celebrate the meaning of Easter and reflect on God’s grace and forgiveness in my life.  I get convicted every year how I need to reflect on the meaning of Easter and truly approach God with an attitude of thanksgiving everyday simply because . . . HE SENT HIS SON TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH ON THE CROSS AND TO DEFEAT DEATH AND SATAN SO THAT I COULD SPEND ETERNITY WITH HIM!  My heart is overwhelmed just by the thought.  Tonight I was thinking there is no way I would ever let Caden or Kinley die for someone else, there is no way I would be able to turn my back on them as all sin was put upon them and know they are suffering so other people wouldn’t have to. I might say I could and say I trusted God enough that I would but, the truth is, I wouldn’t, I just couldn’t!  But, doesn’t that just make God’s love for us even better?  He could, and thank goodness HE DID!  I can’t imagine the pain he went through knowing what he was allowing for his Son. Then to top it all off Jesus knew it was coming and didn’t run from following his Father’s will for US, for ME!  I don’t think I will ever understand it fully but we have a savior who loves us THAT MUCH!  Tonight as I started to lay my emptiness at God’s feet, as I poured my heart and soul out asking him to be our provider, our strength, our healer, our director, etc.  I felt convicted to just take tonight to celebrate emptiness.  Celebrate that because the thumb was empty we have a God who is ALIVE TODAY and is more than able to be our EVERYTHING in all our emptiness! I think God brought me to emptiness today to remind me that “Empty” isn’t a bad thing . . . in a fact it is the very reason I have access to my Father, Jesus Christ. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice for all of us, I don’t understand it fully but I know enough to be overwhelmed and to stand in awe of your goodness and sweet grace!  You are alive and I am forgiven and EMPTINESS can be a SWEET SWEET thing!